Motivational Thoughts
I’ve written a series of “I Want …” statements that summarize my desires and goals when it comes to getting fit and losing weight. I hope they will help to motivate you, too. You may want to bookmark this page and come back for a reread whenever you need a push.
I want to stop dieting on a deadline
We’ve probably all done it. We hear some special occasion is coming up, and bam! the diet starts because we only have a couple weeks/a month/three months (whatever) to lose the extra weight.
I want to already be in shape when there’s a special event rather than hurriedly trying to diet away pounds on a deadline.
For one thing, it often doesn’t work. If I’m trying to lose weight just for a wedding or reunion, that’s not a good enough reason. It’s not the kind of strong, internal motivation that’s going to sustain my efforts for the long haul. I need to do this for me and for my health, and because I want to feel better physically and mentally. Of course, I want to look better too, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting that, but I’ve realized that that’s not enough.
Secondly, it’s too much pressure. If I mess up and go on a binge, there’s often not enough time to recover. That makes me stressed and depressed, and that’s no frame of mind to be in when I’m trying to get fit. It’s no fun counting the days and thinking, “Oh, boy, now I only have [insert number] of days left. There’s no way I’m going to be [insert number] pounds by then.”
Finally, it’s not realistic. A couple of months to get in shape is not enough time. I can lose a little, but not enough to really be satisfied. Trying to lose too much in too short a time can also be a dangerous temptation to use unsafe methods, such as fad diet pills or eating too few calories.
The solution for me is to work at my fitness program regardless of external events. Then when the time arrives, I’ll already be in shape, or well on my way, at least. I have as much time as I need to lose the weight. Not that I want to go to the other extreme and procrastinate, but knowing that I’m not a failure if I can’t lose X number of pounds by X date is a big load off my mind.
Deadlines can be good; when they’re positive and realistic, they’re called goals. But I’ve used them in a more negative way in the past, and I’m determined to stop doing that. If I don’t reach my goal when I want to, the sky won’t fall; I’ll just keep at it until I do get there. Without that goal, I would probably be a little lazy. But it’s not a deadline in the sense that I’m going to be a failure if I haven’t lost every pound I wanted to by a certain date.
So the next time I get an invitation of some sort in the mail, I want my first thought not to be, How much weight can I lose between now and then?
I want to stop holding my stomach in
You know what I mean. Someone walks by, or you walk by someone else, and you instinctively suck it in. Heaven forbid someone should stop and talk because then you have to hold it in while making conversation, which takes some practice in order to breathe and talk normally. It would be nice if it weren’t necessary to do this.
I want to stop holding my stomach in because I’m so self-conscious about it.
Now, I know that holding in the stomach and tucking in the butt is good for your posture, and we wouldn’t want to disappoint our mothers, who learned at Mom School that they must be diligent about the health of our spine. Also, tightening the abdominal muscles can strengthen and tone them. But I’d rather do that during my workout or at times of my own choosing than when I know someone’s watching me and I need to lose 5 pounds, like, this instant. We can identify with this woman, can’t we?
It’s become such an instinctive reflex over the years that it would probably take me years to stop doing it once it becomes unnecessary! And, as I said, it’s not a bad thing to be aware of bettering your posture, but I’m referring to the self-conscious stomach-suck. Here’s another humorous example.
So I’m trying to just stop worrying about it. Certainly nobody is as concerned about my stomach as I am, so I could probably stop sucking it in and no one would notice. It’s just another thing that I am working on.
I want to shop for clothing in the single digits
They say sizes have changed over the years, and I believe it. What used to be a 10 or 12 may now be a 4 or 6, and what used to be a 4 or 6, well … I guess those people just went poof and don’t exist anymore since they’re now into the negatives. So it’s kind of tough to compare current clothing with what we wore 10 to 15 years ago. Even so, it’s a little depressing to realize that even if I get to the point where I can buy a size 6, it’s really a 10 or 12; still, it would be a great improvement from my current 10-12, which is really 16-18. Oh, boy.
Although recognizing that vanity sizing exists, I’m still suckered by it, I guess. The clothing industry knows we long to shop at those single-digit racks and are making it easier and easier for us to do so. Isn’t that nice of them? I’m being sarcastic, but even so, this remains one of my goals.
About 16 years ago when I was successful at reaching my goal weight, I went on a little shopping spree. Most of the stuff I bought was about a 6, but I will never forget that size-3 pair of Levi’s I was able to fit into. That heady feeling will always stay with me. I don’t expect to wear anything size 3 ever again, but that’s okay. Anything below a 10 will be heady enough. I don’t feel the need to get down to the numbers approaching 0 because I don’t want to risk disappearing, but an 8 once in a while would be nice.
Regardless of what the tag says, though, the real goal here is to like what I wear and feel good in it, and the fact that shopping will be fun again is a huge bonus. I hate walking through a store and seeing all the cute things I can’t wear. I’m upset with myself for wasting so many years that now a lot of that cute stuff wouldn’t be age-appropriate for me even if it did fit. So before I’m too old to put my clothes on without assistance, I would like to go on another shopping spree in single-digit world. And hopefully Stacy and Clinton from "What Not To Wear" will pop up from behind a rack and help me.
I want to enjoy summer!
I love winter. Where I live, we have 6 to 8 months of it, so by mid-February it’s getting a little old. Still, it’s beautiful, and there are few experiences more pleasant than being inside by a cozy fire while the fat flakes drift down outside.
But I really love spring and summer. I’m never ready for spring weight-wise, though, so I usually spend the warmer months inside too much, wearing too many clothes. Here’s my next goal …
I want to wear shorts and sleeveless tops (gasp! no sleeves?) in the summer and not feel self-conscious while I cook in heavy, shapeless clothes.
Believe me, I know it’s silly for me to be afraid to wear shorts or have bare arms. Vanity should take a back seat to comfort, right? Well, sometimes I’m not too sensible. And really, nobody wants to see my lily-white cellulite. Especially me.
Well, this has got to change. It’s ridiculous. I’m sick of looking longingly at the racks of cute shorts and tanks at the stores. I’ve wasted too many years sitting on the sidelines, so to speak, instead of really getting the most out of the beautiful weather because I am not dressed appropriately or because I don’t feel up to it.
Because, again, this is not just about weight and appearance; it’s also about health and fitness. I love to go hiking and find hidden waterfalls and take photographs, but since I’m out of shape, it’s easier to just sit on the deck and read. Of course, there’s a place for that, too, in my summer plans, no question! But I know I need to be more active, and getting in shape will help fuel my desire to get out and do stuff.
At the very least, I’ll have to work on that lily-white problem…
I want to be less self-centered
I want to stop thinking about how bad I look and start thinking about the person I’m talking to.
Do you ever feel this way? Like no matter what the other person is saying, you just know they’re thinking about how badly you’ve let yourself go, and look, she’s developing jowls, and boy, I’m sure glad I’m not her … ? So of course I can’t concentrate on the conversation and contribute anything meaningful because in thinking about what he/she is thinking, it’s still all about me.
The same applies in more general areas of social interaction. Before going to a party or event, I spend more time thinking about how bad I’m going to look and how I wish I’d had time to lose weight for it, instead of looking forward to the activities. Once there, I’m still thinking about my appearance instead of what’s going on.
I don’t intend to be self-centered, but isn’t that what it really boils down to? Being self-centered isn’t applied just to individuals who think they’re the cat’s meow. Always feeling like the cat’s litter box, and thinking everyone’s getting a whiff, is a form of self-centeredness too.
Well, I don’t like that feeling. No doubt some type of body-image counseling would help in that regard, but I think getting in shape will go a long way toward helping me be less focused on me. Of course, there’s always the risk that I will then be thinking, Wow, I look good. Do they think I look good? I’m so glad I can wear this gorgeous dress. I look so good!
Ugh. No, seriously, I do feel that the self-confidence that will come with losing weight and feeling better will prevent me from being so wrapped up in my own misery that I can’t show genuine interest in other people. And this is something I’m going to work on starting now. Obviously, my thinking needs to change, not just my body.
Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?
Just kidding.
I want to be happier!
Does this mean I think THIN = HAPPY whereas FAT = SAD? Are my problems going to disappear along with the weight? No, of course not. In that vein, here’s a thought-provoking short video from Kate Harding’s “Shapely Prose” blog. (It’s only 1:19 in length.) Makes you think, doesn’t it?
However, the effect of regular exercise and a good diet on the mind can’t be denied. I’m not thin yet, but I’m already feeling happier.
It feels good to have moved today, even though I’ve spent most of the day chained to my desk. It feels good to be getting things done instead of filling my face. And now, when my mind wanders ahead into spring and summer, I can look forward to wearing more summery clothes, maybe even shorts for the first time in years. Years and years. I’m not there yet, but I have confidence that I will stick with it this time. I have too many reasons not to give up. I’ve always had those reasons, but sometimes they were hiding behind my excuses why I should give up.
My self-esteem and confidence are growing little by little as well, and those two things have a tremendous effect on my mental and emotional state of mind. They are more powerful motivators than I’ve been giving them credit for all these years.
I don’t want my thighs to rub together
If you’re reading this, you’re probably familiar with the feeling, or at least were at some point. Mine didn’t used to be so cozy with each other. I mean, I want them to be acquainted, but not Siamese twins! They need to live their own lives.
It’s uncomfortable, it’s noisy (when wearing pantyhose), it makes your pants wear out faster, and it’s just plain bothersome. It’s also TMI for you, I’m sure. But this is one of the “wants” I have on my list—or, rather, “don’t-wants,” so I’m sharing, but I’ll keep it short.
This seems to be a milestone for many women (and men) who are losing weight, and one they get pretty excited about. A related milestone is getting to the point where you can cross your legs again. When you have to physically lift one leg and place it over the other, and then it doesn’t want to stay put, it’s a problem. I’m looking forward to the day I can casually cross my legs without the use of ropes and a crane. And then tiedowns.
It’s a small thing. Not too much to ask, right? And a person’s got to have goals.
I want less pain and fatigue
More specifically: I want to have more stamina, feel less exhausted all the time, and have fewer flare-ups.
As a fibromyalgia patient, I deal with a lot of pain and fatigue in my muscles. One of the things the doctor always prescribes is regular, moderate exercise. And although it seems like I’d be even more feeble and sore after exercising, the opposite has been true. So having fewer effects from the fibro is another great incentive I have to get in shape.
When I have fewer flares, I get more done, I’m happier, and my hubby is less likely to get yelled at for leaving empty cereal boxes on the counter. It seems there are few health issues that couldn’t be improved, at least to some extent, by eating well and exercising. So why don’t we do it more often?
In my case, and no doubt for many others, it is simply a matter of procrastination. We think: I’ll take care of myself later. When the kids aren’t so small, when my job isn’t so crazy, when we are finished remodeling the house, etc. etc. But aren’t circumstances like these the reason why we need more stamina and less muscle or joint pain? We’re always waiting for “later,” only to find it never gets here.
This is what I want: To have the capacity now to deal with challenges and stresses in my daily life now. The fibromyalgia isn’t likely to go away, but I do have a measure of control over how I feel. So I’m jumping on that elliptical whenever I can, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Making that extra trip up and down the stairs. Parking far away from the entrance and walking a little farther. It all helps.
I want to love my closet again
I want to wake up in the morning and enjoy choosing what to wear because everything I have fits and looks good on me.
I really hate the regular morning quandary about what to wear. Actually, indecision wouldn’t be bad if I were forced to choose between two fabulous ensembles. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. I don’t have many clothes that fit me well, so you’d think the decision would be easier. It’s not. It’s a matter of picking the lesser evil. Let’s see, which of these outfits is less likely to frighten children or get me mistaken as a panhandler today?
I’d estimate that approximately 80% of my clothes are too small for me. They’re either left over from when I was thinner, or I bought them with the idea that I was about to drop 5 or 10 and then they would fit great. Now, at least half of that 80% is stuff I wouldn’t wear again even if it did fit, because styles have changed or my own tastes have changed. Still, it hangs there because I just want the satisfaction of fitting back into it before I get rid of it. Anyone up for a bonfire? I’m kidding; I would give it to Goodwill or something because most of it’s in very good condition. You know, from never wearing it.
But getting back to my original “I want…” statement, I think it would be so great to wake up and look forward to the clothing decision. Once I reach my goals, I intend to go through my clothes and heartlessly cull anything that doesn’t work for me. Hopefully, my sister will be there to keep me on track. She’s my own personal Stacy London. Then it will be a matter of choosing what I’m in the mood for each day, not just what I can struggle into.
I’ve never been particularly fashionable, and quite frankly, I’m surprised I haven’t been nominated for “What Not To Wear” yet, although I suspect I’ve crossed a few minds. But I do love clothes. On the hanger and on other people. Someday soon, I will love them on me.
I want to glow!
For several years now, I’ve been dull. Capital D-U-L-L. Some would say I’ve been dull all my life, but I’m not talking about my personality here. I mean my appearance is dull, lifeless, mousy, lackluster—I can take my pick of adjectives.
I want to have clearer, healthier skin, brighter eyes, and better circulation.
There’s an indefinable glow to people who are active and healthy. It’s hard to put a finger on, but it definitely makes a different in one’s appearance, even if the weight doesn’t change. Whenever I begin an exercise program, I notice right away that my eyes look brighter. I look ALIVE. There’s a little color in my face. My skin behaves better. Here’s an article with the top 7 reasons our skin can become aged-looking, and not surprisingly, one is lack of exercise.
Circulation is a big issue for me too. Since I was hospitalized with a blood clot a couple years ago, I’ve been much more aware of the importance of good circulation. Mine is apparently naturally sluggish due to a genetic defect, and it doesn’t help that I have had sedentary jobs all my life. And I’ve always been the first one in the room or the car to complain about cold feet and hands.
Better circulation is one of the “secret benefits” to exercise that we don’t often think about, but its importance can’t be overstated. Your blood needs to move! Not just so that it won’t clot, but also to improve brain function and keep other vital organs oxygenated.
Exercise won’t solve all my problems, but it helps immeasurably. The little things it does for us, like just brightening our face, can have a big effect on our mental state.
I want people to be surprised that I am as old as I am
I’m simply too young to look like I’ve already done all my living. Regular exercise is like an instant facelift without the expense or recovery time.
Then, of course, when the weight starts going down, that’s like an extra bonus that will take a few more years off. I don’t mind telling people how old I am, but I don’t want it to be written all over my face. Where’s the fun in that?
A reader of this site turned me on to a book by Charla Krupp called “How Not To Look Old.” I haven’t yet been able to read the book, but I have a feeling that when I do, I will discover I am in trouble.
I have always been 10 to 15 years behind fashion. The only time I find myself owning something actually in style is when something comes back, and I still have it from the first time it made the rounds. Not the preferred way to dress.
For instance, I was still wearing 1980-something pumps when the chunkier shoes became popular. I thought they were so ugly, and it took me forever to jump on the bandwagon. And when I finally did, it was too late. Now I like clunky shoes and the rest of the world is in stilettos. Sigh. Don’t even get me started about jackets.
Regardless of my fashion sense or lack thereof, getting rid of these extra pounds will go a long way toward making me look younger. It will making shopping more fun, and maybe if I’m having fun, I’ll be less attracted to frumpy clothes. One can only hope.